What a week, huh?

Image from knowyourmeme.
Image from knowyourmeme.

Oh, has it been more than a week since I last posted something here? Wow, can’t even take a break from blogging without Twitter burning down. So, why the break?

In 2020 I pursued a couple of creative outlets pretty consistently: Blogging, streaming, writing a newsletter, and I even made a few YouTube videos. At the end of every year I review all my recurring habits and trajectory, and decide if I need or want to make any changes. At the end of that year the balance between how much time and energy all these things cost me and how much I got out of them wasn’t positive anymore. That doesn’t mean I didn’t enjoy them, but it was becoming more of a burden and I needed a break.

That break was much longer and more radical than I originally had planned it to be, because unfortunately 2021 wasn’t easy. While I started an amazing new job1 in that year, unfortunately (during my first week at said job…) my father’s physical health deteriorated dramatically, and dealing with that has made life stressful for a long time. Shortly afterwards my mother’s mental health took a turn for the worse. For many, many months I was struggling to handle all that while trying (and succeeding) to at least function at work.

Spending time on creative outlets like blogging was not crossing my mind much, and it took me a while to realize that I was missing it. And then it took more time to realize that I’ve grown accustomed to this new normal of having to care for my parents in some way, and that I can (and have to, for my own sanity) still make time for the things I was missing.

I’m sure I won’t be anywhere near as consistent as in 2020, but that’s okay. I’ve written about my complicated relationship with habit as a motivator before. The important part is that I finally break out of this funk and start doing something again.

PS: In a cruel twist of fate, I had begun this draft post right before I caught the flu and was completely wiped out for two weeks. (Seriously, I wouldn’t wish the flu on my worst enemy.) The joke in the title of this post now feels like it’s on me.

  1. I gave an interview (in German) about the Support Engineer role and how I ended up at GitLab just a few days ago, if you’re interested. ↩︎